Senior Moments

 

The older I get I've notice the more frequently that I sit or stand with a special blank expression upon my face wondering just what the hell I was about to do, had done, was thinking, was trying to think, remember, accomplish, and or move independently without the boot to the butt my wife is always happy to assist with.  These moments and lapses of time have been entitled and forever etched into our collective conscious as, "Senior Moments."

Being of a certain age, one that I have titled in a past post as, "The respectable age," has it's drawbacks.  The foremost is that special moment in the above paragraph.  The Senior Moment is a misfire in communication between your supposed brain and the rest of your body.  Usually in males it is first noticed as the, "Get out of the chair syndrome."  That is when you rise from your seat, not without some extra vocal accompaniment, go to the kitchen to grab a snack, or whatever, and upon arriving at your favorite spot in the house, the refrigerator, and opening the door are instantly hit with the lack of remembering or understanding just how, why, and what we are doing at the refrigerator.  Usually, according to, Bill Cosby, the only way to regain this memory is to return to the chair in which you were sitting and place your butt in the same spot to re-absorb the memory.  Then we can possibly accomplish the original task.  Most of the time this process takes a couple tries. 

The Senior Moment can attack at any given time.  I have been caught in the fearful time loop of, "Driving to the Mall."  That is, you know the directions when you pull out of your drive way,  you feel good about the ability to drive yourself in the correct direction, and you might even have some special, "Cruising" music coming out of your speakers.  Half way to the intended spot, the Mall, it drops out of your brain.  You've forgotten where and why your going, and you can't recall how to get there.  In my small community that is a real problem.  There's only one road to the Mall, which is only a Walmart in the first place.  I must mention at this time that I almost wrote, "Kmart" instead.  That would have just been embarrassing.  

I teach adult classes one day a week.  Last night I was teaching my class when I was pounced upon by a Senior Moment.  In this instance I was able to readjust my thinking on the fly and fake what I was talking about.  The students didn't notice, I hope.  One of them is pre-senior and may be suffering the beginnings of the syndrome himself, the rest of us are long past all hope.  It was a short spell and I re-collected.

There are those that suggest I take  something called Ginko Balboa or something like that to stimulate my memories.  I just have a hard time getting Rocky out of my head thinking about the stuff.  Maybe it's Geiko Bilbo?  what ever.  Others suggest Omega 3 supplements and Fish Oil.  That I do take with my multi vitamin in the mornings.  I supposed I should feel lucky that I've become respectable without the need for a handful of pills every day.  I wouldn't be able to pronounce them anyways.  

Along with the Senior Moment comes the, "Stare out of the window misty eyed thing."  I just caught myself doing that as I write this.  The only reason I mention it.  

So, if you find yourself suffering the affects of the "Senior Moment," and the occasional "Misty Eyed" expression comes across your countenance, Fear not, for you have just joined a growing and well established club of elders.  In a respectable society the youth would be there to assist, however...

Peace and Balance,

John