Happy Dead Bird Day

 

Tomorrow is the national Holiday that we give thanks to the Dead Bird.  The Dead Bird is a large indigenous creature that was grown and fostered on this continent many moons ago by rather large forces from the nether realms of Lunch Box.  Lunch Box is a secret plain where all holiday food is stored by the government until it can be released to the general public through the attribution and price fixing of the Walmart Giant.  Only those with the Top Ultra Magnetic Security Clearances have access to such knowledge. 

Lunch Box includes Large Dead Bird, Mashed and Smashed Potatoes, usually delegated to the space program, Yams, the code name of the other Potato, Corn, an ancient fuel source, a Frothy Adult Beverage, this keeps Uncle Lenny at Bay, and the pride of the day, Pumpkin Pie, just because topped with an adulterous amount of whipped cream.

Lunch Box has been used to monitor the Holiday in our neighbor Canada as a cultural exchange and a First Nations Power Up.  So far the First Nations have held back the urge to take over Canada, but have decided that the gig is pretty ok up there.  Then there's the rumor about the United States, shhhh.

Dead Bird Day began as Thanksgiving, but the name was unofficially changed by those that realize that being thankful for 500 years of occupation is a waste of time and energies, there is always that Canadian rumor.  You never know. 

So, until then when we can truly Say Happy Thanksgiving, I say to you, Have a Swell Dead Bird Day, and don't over indulge in Pumpkin Pie, the power can be explosive.

Peace and Balance,

John