Friday, March 31, 2023

The Wonders of Benadryl


I have strange allergies.  They come they go, they sneak up on me and strike when I least expect them.  Hidden in my stuff I even have one of them self injectors full of epinephrine.  I'm supposed to use that when I suspect an episode of swelling, the type that put me in the ER the last time I was in the hospital.  I couldn't breath, the tongue swelled up, and the throat was closing.  So, I put on a pair of pants and drove myself to the hospital.  They gave the appropriate medications and eventually sent me home with a script for the injector.  

I have been instructed to take a Benadryl as soon as I feel the onset of the swelling.  Benadryl works pretty darn good to detour the effects of my allergies.  It has a nasty side effect however, one that I really could do without.  

About an hour after I take the pill the mystical Benadryl gods come and suck my brain out of my left ear.  I begin to become extremely sleeping and loose the ability to have rational conversations.  What I can muster comes out in grunts and growls, and the occasional un-mentionable adjective.  After the effects start wearing off my head begins to go through several levels of expanding and contracting followed by incredible whistling sounds at different tones and volumes.  It's wonderful thing, really.  

I didn't have any of these problems until I reached the, "respectable" age.  For those of you who don't know, the respectable age begins at about 60 and goes through to the age of ultimate knowledge right around 80.  So we are respectable for about 20 years then we become the keepers of the worlds secrets.  We don't have to be respectable anymore and have earned the right to point our boney fingers at the youth of the world and command their attentions with that special glare, and the grimace of the ages.  I remember that look from my grandmother, it was terrifying. Until then I'll pretend to be Respectable as long as I can get away with it.  

The thing about my allergies is that I'm allergic to the trees of my home. Trees like Boxelder, Silver Pine, Ponderosa Pine, and Birch.  Birch is the only one that is indigenous to New England, the others have gotten here on the boots of travelers and have germinated.  So, every year at about this time I go through a few weeks, and into the summer, of torture, torment, and the need for Benadryl.  

Swelling, itching, complaining, and the effects of drugs aside, Spring is still my favorite time of year.  And as far as being Respectable goes, getting old Sucks...

Peace and Balance,


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